


The long road home

by Choxy



Series: The second padawan [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (because I can't write full-fledged angst without making myself cry), (which we all know isn't true), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choxy/pseuds/Choxy
Summary: Tabby's world gets thrown off its axis. While she's still trying to deal with the aftermath, it's forcibly shoved back into place, leaving behind scabs and scars.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Female Character(s)
Series: The second padawan [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594390
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	The long road home

**Author's Note:**

> Important info:  
> I don't care about canon timelines, so the Clone Wars take 5 instead of 3 years. Sorry, not sorry! It gives me more space to work with and lets Tabby age a bit before things go to shit.

Tabitha couldn't believe it! Obi-Wan is still alive. After almost two weeks of grieving and crying like a small child, her master turns out to be alive. 

She got the call from Ahsoka two days ago, right before the republic forces departed from Naboo. At first, she had been ecstatic because her master, her father figure, was alive and well, though with another face, and she didn't need to continue her padawan training with a new master, someone entirely different.

After that, the feeling of betrayal just kind of settled in the pit of her stomach along with a small amount of anger. Because how could he do that? How could he pretend to have died and not even tell them? He should have known how that would hurt her or Anakin and Ahsoka or the whole 212th! Shouldn't he? 

  
  


Tabitha hadn't even been there when Obi-Wan  _ 'died' _ . She had been sent on a mission with other padawans to a distant planet, which the council had probably planned all along just so they wouldn't have to worry about her. So when she had come back to Coruscant and hadn't felt anything on the other side of their bond or seen her master welcome her back like he always did after she went on a mission alone, she had been worried sick. 

She had thought he was in halls of healing again, seriously injured. 

Then Anakin had told her about what happened with grief evident in every line of his face and firstly she thought he must be joking. That it was just some sick joke and Obi-Wan would come through the door of Anakin's quarters every second now. But when she had looked into Anakin's wet blue eyes that were filled with so much pain, sadness, and anger she realized that it wasn't a joke or a dream. 

It was real. 

Obi-Wan had died and she wasn't there. 

Obi-Wan had died because of a kriffing bounty hunter and his lucky shot.

The funny thing is that Tabitha had just stood there, dumbly staring at Anakin with wide, shocked eyes while grasping desperately at the training bond which was empty. No comforting presence or reassurance waiting for her on the other side. It had felt so wrong and cold. 

_ 'I-I didn't feel it break. I didn't even know!" _

That had been the moment it had really sunk in, the grief settling deep in her heart and pulling it down into her stomach. Her mind went fuzzy but the thought  _ 'He's dead.'  _ repeated clearly in her head like a morbid mantra she couldn't let go off. 

_ 'He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's-' _

Tabby didn't realize she had stopped blinking, stopped moving, stopped  _ breathing.  _ She didn't even notice the tears pushing against her wide eyes or the trembling of her entire body. 

The need to touch something, hold onto something that could pull her out of her own personal hell, had grown until her left hand started twitching and the shivers turned into quakes. 

She had wanted to move but misery rooted her to the spot and the universe settled on her shoulder.

Anakin had somehow gotten the message that Tabitha wanted something but couldn't get it on her own and so he gathered her into his solid arms. Tear after tear had started flowing down her pale cheeks and she wrapped her arms tightly around the knight, sobbing openly into his chest. 

_ 'Is this really real?'  _ She remembers thinking as her hands dug into the dark robes of the older man, mentally wishing the feeling of the worn fabric would disappear and the pain in her heart turned out to be a cruel fiction. One so identical to the ones her traitorous mind conjured so often to haunt her when other kids dreamt of unicorns and fantasy worlds. 

All of this had to be a nightmare! The worst she had ever faced. But it would be fine once she woke up and find her Master anxiously stumbling into her room, half asleep but alert to her distress. She would be fine when the hushed reassurances were whispered to her as a gentle, calloused hand carded through her sweaty hair. She would be fine drinking spicy Kopi-Tea with Obi-Wan and listening to her favorite music the ginger put on. 

She would be fine. 

It was just a dream. 

_ He  _ would be  _ fine _ . Just like he always said he was. No matter what.

Thinking back on it now, with a clearer mind, makes Tabitha feel foolish. Childish even. 

Clinging to something that obviously would only bring her more hurt. Clinging to hope like she had clung to Anakin. It was stupid and irrational  _ and she should've known better than to  _ **_hope_ ** . 

She had only opened her already shattered mentality for more pain _. _

She had  _ felt. _

The fabric, the lava pits that were her eyes, the burning rivers on her cheeks and the  _ weight. _ God the weight of the knowledge that this was real had been unbearable. 

She had felt all that. And as weird as it sound, feeling  _ broke _ her. It had torn her apart and turned her inside out until the grinning, singing and dreaming girl from minutes ago, seemed like a whole other person. 

The Tabitha from a million years ago. The one so carefree and happy, this Tabitha, the sobbing mess, envied her.

The dam that had broken before, had then been obliterated. She could've been crying for seconds or minutes or actual hours, for her it all felt like an eternity as she cried and cried and cried. 

Seemingly, there had been no end to her tears then and that should proceed to stay like that for days, weeks to follow. 

The few teardrops on her head she had felt after whatever amount of time they had been standing there, she decided not to mention. 

Tabitha had only tightened her arms around the man who had been just as close to the Jedi Master and just stayed right there, bawling into Anakin Skywalker's tunic, unsure of what she was supposed to do. What the universe wanted from her. Without her master, she wouldn't be able to figure it out. Only he could ever translate _. _

Hours passed. Or maybe really only minutes, did it matter?

Nevertheless, they had finally pulled away. Anakin had tried to hide his tears behind anger. She had seen the wall come up and didn't do anything as she had stood in front of him, red-eyed, puffy-faced and overwhelmed, to say the least.

She had done nothing to smother his anger before it could fester, although she knew how deeply he felt. Tabitha had only asked him shakily if the 212th was already aware of Obi-Wan's death. 

At that moment, they weren't, he admitted after composing himself.

He had wanted to tell them just after he told her, so she decided to take one burden off the knight's shoulder's and do it for him instead. 

Half an hour later she had thoughtlessly ambled to the barracks of the 212th, not knowing how to tell them their General died without them being able to protect him  _ because he was supposed to be safe on Coruscant _ . 

It would break them like it had broken her. 

At the beginning of the war they had sworn to protect him and follow him onto every battlefield. In the end, a battlefield and the war didn't claim his life. An assassin did in the one place no battle would ever erupt that the clones could protect him from. 

As Tabitha had knocked on the door softly, crossing her arms in front of her chest to hide her shaking hands, her frazzled mind thought of things to do ways to say it. 

However the packaging didn't change the present, she concluded. The phrasing could have been oh so great, the meaning was the same. Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead, so why not just say it? 

_ 'Because they deserve better.'  _

And Tabby wholeheartedly agreed. They  _ all  _ deserved better than this. Than  _ all  _ of this. The war, the fighting, the death, the injustice. 

They deserve the truth but not in the form of a punch to the gut. 

They deserve the universe for their deeds, but she couldn't even give them the innocent rephrasing "He's gone." or "He's with the Force." 

No, the moment Cody had opened that door and invited her in with a smile, Tabitha had felt like the devil himself, staring into the unshielded eyes of his next victims.

In that instant, she knew whatever would leave her mouth in the next couple of moments would destroy all of them for sure. Some of them it would even kill. 

The next battle, she had realized, would claim more lives than any other did. 

Clones are loyal. The most loyal beings in the universe. But despite what everyone says, it makes them vulnerable. Not only to mental pain, but physical as well. 

Clones follow their generals. Sometimes even into death long after the latter has passed.

The thought had almost made her turn tail and run as fast as she could. 

Regret had made itself known. Could she really do this? 

Could she watch their world crumble? 

Could she tell Cody that his-

_ 'I have to.' _

The clone, having lost his pleasant smile at Tabitha's distraught state, had asked what was going on when she forced the words "He's dead." out of her mouth. 

She had spat them out and left them on the floor for everyone to look at, all the while not having the courage to look  _ her brothers  _ in the eyes. 

Cowardice, that's what it was but no one blamed her. 

No one  _ ever _ blames her. 

She could swear that time had stopped for a second when everyone stared at her dumbfounded before exploding into questions of who had died. Except Cody.

As if they didn't know. 

They did. They hadn't wanted to admit it, but they knew.

Cody- silent and stoic Cody- had looked so heartbroken and at the same time utterly disbelieving as he murmured Obi-Wan's name and silenced the room with it.

She still hadn't been able to meet their eyes as she nodded. And she sure as hell couldn't when she had recounted everything Anakin had told her like a broken record, stuttering and craking every few words. She told them about the sniper, how he shot Obi-Wan, who fell multiple stories, and got away, and when the funeral would be. Once or twice in between, Tabitha had to stop and take a shaky breath. Shifting anxiously while everyone stared at her. Dozens of different-shaded brown eyes had looked at her with the exact same expression. First denial, then anger and as she finished, grief. She could tell you the precise moments in which one emotion morphed into the other and witnessing it had pained her deeply.

The padawan had finished and the room had fallen into heavy silence. 

Sadness, anger, shock, and disbelief resonated through the Force as thick as blood through water and Tabitha had to force down the renewed tears burning in her emerald eyes. She didn't want to cry again, not in front of the men. 

She had to be strong. 

Not that there were many tears left to shed. 

The clones, on the other hand, had enough.

But only few of them had cried. Dozens of minutes later, silently and hidden but the tears were palpable in the artificial air of the barracks.

Others had just mutely stared into space, a thousand-click-stare boring holes into walls. Some had stalked off angrily, probably to the training rooms to punch something or to the 79's, trying to drown her fateful message in liqour and forget. Until the morning hangover disappeared that is.

For the first few minutes after saying thise damned three words, the fifteen-year-old girl hadn't moved an inch, unsure of what to do while the other occupants continued to stare and try to comprehend what she had reported.

Normally in the face of tragedy, she'd have helped others deal. This time she couldn't deal with it herself. 

Half an hour. 

Half an hour ago, the future she'd thought she'd have evaporated before her very eyes. She'll still be a Jedi, sure. But would she be the same? Would another master give her what Obi-Wan could give? 

Would it  _ matter _ ?

It was war. There were too few Masters anyway and all of them were heavily involved in campaigns around the universe. Taking on and taking care of a grieving padawan would only get in the way. 

Her breathing had hitched and her vision, which was still transfixed on the ground, blurred. 

Naked fear had blended with sorrow in the pit of her stomach. 

Had it not been for Cody who gently guided her to an empty bunk and coaxed her to sit down, she would have broken down weeping in the middle of the room. Instead she had only whimpered into Cody's side as the man, who seemed so many types of distant and numb, pulled her into a one-sided hug.

For the rest of the day and night Tabitha had stayed with her friends, not wanting to return to empty quarters. None of them protested. They were the ones to extend the idea in the first place. 

So, Tabitha had taken place in a vacant bunk and caught maybe three hours of restless sleep, emotion-induced insomnia keeping her in the unforgiving land of the living.

  
  


When Obi-Wan's pyre rolled around and his supposed body was lowered into the ground, Tabitha had shed quiet tears, just like the previous two nights when she sat curled up on her master's bed, taking in the earthy scent with a hint of spicy tea. 

There weren't many people there, only Obi-Wan's closest friends and most of the council members. 

The air was stale with the scent of fire and ash and the muffled sobs of Duchess Satine Kryze resonated through the dim room. 

Tabitha stood next to Master Kit whose finned hand was resting lightly on her trembling shoulder and kept rubbing soothing circles across her shoulder blade with his thumb. 

A couple of minutes in, the fifteen-year-old heard Ahsoka's clearly concerned voice when she expressed her concerns to Master Plo Koon. 

He hadn't spoken a word in almost two days! 

That made Tabby think back to her arrival at the temple. The anger swirling in his deep blue eyes.

She should've talked to him then or at least the next day instead of sinking into her own grief. She should have but she didn't. She had tried to distract  _ herself _ with her music player or a book. However every time she almost flung both items across the room in frustration when the usual enjoyment her favorite hobbies brought her was completely missing and unwanted thoughts invaded her mind. 

And while she was worrying about herself, two of her best friends were also suffering. The ones that were actually there when it happened. 

Then and there, watching the  _ body _ of her master burn, Tabby had made herself a promise to check up on Ahsoka and Anakin. 

They might need her and she definitely needs them.

She never got to fulfill that promise. 

One day later, evrything and everyone who had seemingly been frozen in time over the past two days, was rushing at a high velocity. 

Tabby could only describe it as too fast and too much!

The 212th had to move out just a one day after the pyre, shortly after Ahsoka and Anakin arrested Rako Hardeen. The man who murdered Obi-Wan for what? A few thousand credits? Millions? 

A few months ago, she would've thought nothing of him. A bounty hunter, not the enemy but a pain in the neck most of the times. She would've regarded him with mistrust but not resentment. Now, however, she despises him. Despises all of them. People with no morals who only see the value of a person's life in the the zeros behind a one. 

Her only consolation was that Hardeen wouldn't be able to use the money Obi-Wan's death had earned him. He'll rot in prison with Bane and hundreds of other dirty bounty hunters. Right at home!

And that should have made her feel better. Her master's killer in prison. It was more justice than some others got. 

But it wouldn't bring Obi-Wan back. No matter how many years he'd rot in that forceforsaken prison, it wouldn't magically put her shambled life back together.

She didn't know what would happen now. How she was supposed to live normally again after this. How her training would continue. The council had said they would take care of it. 

Back then she had no reason not to trust their judgement (well, a few minor disagreements) and waited. 

Suddenly, the message had got to her that Hardeen had escaped prison, she had wanted to go with Anakin and Ahsoka to hunt that bastard down, but she wasn't allowed to. She begged the council to let her over and over because she couldn't take the silence and tranquility of the temple anymore. The quietness of their  _ -her-  _ quarters. 

The begging was to no avail. The Jedi Masters refused with little sympathy and so she had stayed in the temple for days on end, lost and alone. 

She had friends -few- but they just didn't understand and everyone who did was busy with the war. 

Ahsoka had kept her updated on the chase of Hardeen while Cody commed as often as he could. They knew she wanted out of the temple and away from the planet which was marred with her Master's death. She needed something to distract her or she'd suffocate in her own mind. 

Both of them tried their best to help  _ her  _ while dealing with it on their own. 

It resulted in her feeling more useless and like a kriffing burden than ever before.

  
  


All of that pain and the insecurity now led up to this.

Naboo happened, the chancellor was saved and Cad Bane and Moralo Eval were thrown back into their cells. 

_ Obi-Wan was alive! _

And now here she is, anxiously waiting for the venators to finally land. 

Tabitha watches them closely, joy and anger mixing into a bittersweet emotion that creates a tight knot in her stomach. 

She's as excited as she was in the first days of her apprenticeship and could barely contain the urge to rock from foot to foot. 

She still couldn't believe that her master is alive and she probably wouldn't until she could see him with her own eyes and maybe punch him for letting her, all of them, believe he had died. 

Nothing would erase the past two weeks full of anguish and tears.

Minutes tick by which feel like hours to Tabby until the metal beasts glistening in the afternoon sun of Coruscant (which isn't any different from the midday sun) touch down on solid ground and the echoing rumble of the gigantic engines is cut. A low hiss announces the opening of the blast doors and the first figures step out through kicked up dust and decompressed air.

Anakin and Ahsoka. 

Anakin is not quite running but also not walking casually. He looks even angrier than the last time Tabitha has seen him a week ago which is impressive but understandable. 

Ahsoka has a hard time catching up to her master. When they pass her, Anakin barely spares her a glance and continues stomping away but she doesn't take it personally. 

He has suffered, he's hurt and feels betrayed but without a doubt in her mind, Tabby knows he'll get it together sooner or later. It'll take time and work. And a little bit of help from others.

Anyway, even if Anakin's angry at Obi-Wan now, he'll forgive him. Of that she is sure. Those two need each other more than they'd like to admit. More than is probably allowed according to the Code.  _ (Who the kriff cares?!) _

Ahsoka gives her a genuine smile and a small wave which she returns, though not half as genuine. But it's good to see Ahsoka smiling again, even though it was a small one. 

Since Obi-Wan had  _ 'died'  _ in her arms, she had been quieter than ever before, comforting others, mostly Tabby, but not dealing well with it herself. Tabby had wanted to help her, ask her if she needed anything, but there was never the time to sit down and talk. Never the time to properly heal jagged wounds. Not that she ever saw how deeply her best friend had been hurting. Soka hid it well and Tabby was too preoccupied in wallowing in her own misery. 

She makes a mental note to apologize for that later and give Ahsoka the longest hug in the history of hugs. That girl deserves it!

The pair passes her with hurried steps and vanishes inside the crowds of men scuttering around the place, readying equipment to unload the venators and make the routine maintenance check.

Tabitha turns her gaze back to the said star ship just as two different people walk down the ramp. 

One of them is Master Windu, bald and unyielding but with a rare upturn of lips gracing his usual  _ resting bitch-face  _ as Ahsoka and her liked to call it nowadays. 

_ 'Alright, weird.' _

Nevermind the bizarre occurrence of a smile, the other person is way more interesting. All strong-jawed and sharp edges with tattoos on his face, still wearing his bounty hunter gear. 

It's an unfamiliar face but his force signature is so achingly familiar, bright and comforting when she lets her consciousness sweep across the distance. Tentatively, Tabitha then reaches across their bond, hoping to all higher entities that it's not empty anymore. 

She could have cried in relief when she feels the presence on the other end, a bright light where there was cold darkness before. A vacuum now filled with welcoming fresh air.

She gently brushes against the too tight shields of her master's conscience, asking to be let in again. 

  
  


Obi-Wan snaps his head around, abruptly breaking off his conversation with Mace when he feels the light brush against his shields. His pale blue eyes meet emerald ones in the distance and a joy that he hasn't felt in too long fills his entire being when he sees his young padawan again. 

He had felt it when he saw Anakin too but the man had been so angry that it had been instantly replaced by guilt at having been the cause of that. Of the Knight's suffering. Obi-Wan is aware that he made a mistake by not telling them about the council's plan and he'll take whatever they throw at him. 

He deserves it.

He instantly lowers his shields to let his padawan's warm presence mingle with his, a mental embrace filled with emotions none of them could relay with words.

This time Tabitha actually laughs in relief when warmth cascades over her and she feels the joy of her master. But there's not just that, when she looks a little bit deeper she can feel all the exhaustion, loneliness, guilt and regret buried beneath it. 

Her master most likely hasn't meant for her to, but she could feel all the emotions that smother the man, had been drowning him since the start of his undercover mission. 

The disgusting mix threatens to send bile up her clogged throat and she wonders how her master can even deal with that.

(He probably doesn't but hides it well. Well, from everyone but her.)

Obi-Wan may have made a mistake and he knows and regrets it deeply. A part of her anger vanishes at feeling his struggle. 

Tabitha can understand why Obi-Wan did it, doesn't make it hurt any less, but she does. Duty comes first, he had told her that very early in her apprenticeship. And in the end, he saved the chancellor and hence the Republic. 

She's still a bit angry, but she'll forgive him. That much was clear since she heard Obi-Wan was alive. 

She could never hate him, even if she wanted to.

In one moment she's still waiting with her arms crossed, the other she's running at full speed to Obi-Wan, crashing into his chest seconds later. The impact causes the surprised Jedi in disguise to stumble backward two steps, a surprised yelp spilling over his still strange feeling lips. Nonetheless, he doesn't hesitate to reciprocate the hug and holds onto his padawan tightly. 

_ 'She's gotten bigger than I thought'  _ Tabitha reaches his chest now. Still smaller than average for someone her age though.

Obi-Wan presses his cheek against the top of her head and closes his eyes, basking in the lovely presence of his padawan.

None of them notice Mace's face breaking into a real smile as hestrollsl away, giving them some sort of privacy for their little reunion. 

"I'm still angry at you. Don't think you'll get off the hook that easily." Tabitha mumbles against his chest, chastising tone entirely lost somewhere in her throat. It's a flat statement with very little real emotion behind it. She just felt the need to put it out there, warn him for when she finally exploded on him in the near future.

Obi-Wan lets out a deep, exhausted sigh, knowing full well he will get yelled by more than just Anakin or her. Doesn't mean he can take anymore right now. He just wants his normal face back and go to sleep for at least a week. 

Tabitha takes mercy on him when she feels his exhaustion leaking over the bond. 

"But right now, I'm just glad you're back. I missed you, Master." She makes sure that some of the happiness she feels goes over the bond and tightens her arms around him. Her master needs some proper rest and some tea. Not someone yelling at him. 

_ 'Not yet anyway. And perhaps not even soon.'  _ She admitted to herself. Tabby never could get really angry with anyone. Too forgiving and naive, some said. 

In her arms, she can feel Obi-Wan relax immediately when he hears the soft-spoken words from the girl. Silently, he's thanking her for not lecturing or yelling at him. 

"I missed you too, Tabitha." He murmurs back softly. 

Around them, clones dash from one place to the other, scrambling to get their work done as fast as possible. All the while other passengers descend the ramps, giving them raised eyebrows but also space. 

None of it mattered though. For the embracing pair, the busy commotion tunes out and turns into white noise while they stand there for seemingly ten minutes.

It still feels like all too soon when Tabitha steps back, blinks tears _of joy_ away and looks up at her Master with a small but genuine smile. 

She feels lighter than she had in two weeks. Her whole life slowly pieces itself together as she regards the strangers face hiding Obi-Wan underneath it and her muddled and uncertain future clears again. 

It may never be like before but as long as he's back, she can live with that. 

The smile morphs into a smirk when she really takes in the edgy face of Rako Hardeen looking down on her with soft blue eyes. 

How the hells is transforming a face even possible? 

Chuckling, she gestures to Obi-Wan's face. "You look weird." The older man huffs and answers in Hardeen's gravely voice. "Very. It does feel weird if I am being honest." 

"Yeah, I bet. When will they, ehm, change it back?" 

"The healers want me back in the halls of healing right now to take out the voice modulator and reconstruct my face. I will have to stay for a couple more hours to rule out any side-effects." 

Really, Obi-Wan just wants a good cup of his favorite tea and fall into his own bed. Judging by the sympathetic look on Tabitha's face, she knows exactly what he's thinking.

_ 'This is going to be fun.'  _ The teen has to think of every other time the healers tried to keep the doggedly stubborn ginger in the halls for longer than ten minutes. Somehow, she feels the urge to be there tug at her. 

"Can I-" The padawan casts her gaze to the side, clearly hesitant to raise her question. "Can I stay with you? I just- I need to…" Tabitha breaks off, not exactly knowing how to finish that sentence. 

_ 'I need to know you're okay. I need to stay with you. I need to know you won't disappear the second I leave you.'  _

Obi-Wan either gets the idea or he can hear her thoughts because his questioning expression softens. "Of course. I'd be more than happy if you'd keep me company. You know how much I dislike being in the halls of healing." The girl's expression lights up directly and she laughs gently. "I think the healers  _ dislike _ it as much as you do, Master." She places some extra emphasis on the word dislike, just for the sake of usual teasing. 

"And what is that supposed to mean, my young padawan?" He asks in a mock-hurt tone, lifting a hand to cover the spot on his chest plate where his heart sits underneath.

"We both know what I mean, dear master. You're annoying when you're on bed rest for more than an hour." Their laughs unite as they set off into the direction of the temple.

At that moment, they both know they would be alright with time and things between them would settle back to normal soon enough. Not in a week, maybe not even in a month or two, but soon. 

  
  


Their playful banter and casual conversation continues all the way to the halls, both completely unaware of the confused looks they receive from some Initiates and padawans or the amused glances they get from more than just one Jedi Master. 

None of them want to address the bantha in the room just yet and so they carefully tread around the anything closely related to the subject. 

They arrive at the halls where Jedi Healer Vokara Che and a medical droid are already preparing the procedure to reconstruct Obi-Wan's face. Pushing and pulling blinking buttons and small levers, checking their various instruments and noting medical things, Tabitha doesn't understand. 

The instance Obi-Wan's foot crosses the threshold, the light blue lekku of the Twi'lek twitch slightly and her head twists around to gift them with a pleasant smile. Tabitha's spontaneous appearance doesn't even seem to surprise the seasoned healer for she only grants her a warm glance before addressing the man in the room.

"Master Kenobi. It's good to see you back in one piece." 

"Master Che. It's nice to see you again." 

_ 'Yeah right.'  _ Tabitha manages to disguise the snort by clearing her throat , the healer doesn't even try and shakes her head in amusement. 

"Oh, we both know you don't want to be here. If you would lie down we can start with the reconstruction." 

Obi-Wan does as told, reluctantly that is, and while the droid starts poking and prodding, Master Che turns to Tabitha. "Would you like to stay, Padawan Flux?" She asks kindly. The padawan nods hurriedly. "Yes, thank you, Master Che." 

The healer waves her off with an understanding smile and gestures to the chair beside the bed is Obi-Wan lying on. Tabitha sits down and chuckles once she sees her master already glaring at the droid after a handful of rather blunt prods at his face. 

When it is done checking Obi-Wan for whatever the hell it wanted, one metal arm approaches the man with a scanner which is humming and beeping in front of his face while the other reaches up with what appears to be intimidatingly long, curved tweezers. "Please open your mouth." The droid requests in a monotone voice. Obi-Wan doesn't complain, though he looks like he wants to, and does as he is told. Only to be assaulted by the instrument that is thrust deep into his throat to retrieve the voice emulator that had been lodged there throughout the mission. 

Tabitha winces at the muffled grunt from his master when the device is forcefully yanked out and takes his calloused hand into her own, squeezing lightly. The Jedi Master coughs and gags but thankfully doesn't start retching up his stomach contents. 

"Here, drink this. It should help a little." The stern but gentle voice of Master Che recommends, handing Obi-Wan a glass of cold water to soothe his now aching throat. The ginger male sips at the drink slowly before handing it back to the chief healer. 

After having  _ that  _ pair of tweezers jabbed into your throat by  _ that  _ droid, you'd think the Negotiator would be smart enough to shut up and let his throat be. He isn't.

Tabitha should've known better.

"Have you… programmed that droid… to have bedside manners… of a rabid zillo beast?" Obi-Wan asks wryly in his  _ familiar accented voice _ . Hacked and rough but better than any of her favorite songs. Tabitha politely coughs into her free hand to hide her delighted snicker and presses down on her knee with the other to keep it from bouncing up and down in unfiltered excitement. 

"Don't talk." The Twi'lek admonishes her patient. "But to answer your question: No, it was always like that. It's just easier to have a droid with bad bedside manners that doesn't let anything go than one that believes its patients when they say  _ they're fine _ ." She answers matter-of-factly and glares at Obi-Wan with unimpressed eyes, daring him to question or deny her. The man has the decency to look at least somewhat ashamed. This time Tabitha just can't hide the snicker because it's so Obi-Wan to argue with the healers at every given opportunity and deny all kinds of treatment. 

A few days ago, she thought she wouldn't experience that ever again, that normality. But now that she's here, all sadness, anger, and betrayal she felt before, dissipates slowly, making space for content and happiness. 

Suddenly, she feels Obi-Wan's hand tighten around hers and lets her sight swivel up to see a needle sticking in his neck. 

The next moment, a pained cry tears itself from her master's already abused throat as the facial transformation injection begins to act, throwing him into a fit of agony while his muscles, bones, and cartilage return to their original configuration. Tabitha could see the bones changing positions in her master's face and she could feel the ones in his hand shifting. From over the bond, she feels the real pain the other man is trying to shield away from her and sends a warm wave of comfort, hoping to somewhat alleviate the pain and give him something else to focus on.

Suddenly, Master Che moves past the droid and gives the other Jedi another injection. 

A semi-translucent liquid this time. 

Gradually, Tabby can feel how sluggish her master's mind becomes, thoughts jumbling together and the pain fading away 

_ 'A sedative.' _

She looks quizzically at the healer on the opposite side of the bed who shrugs and looks down at the half-conscious Jedi on the bed. Obi-Wan's eyes flutter closed, his breathing begins to even out and Tabitha feels the tension bleed out of his muscles.

He's out like a light in a matter of seconds. 

"He's exhausted. And everyone knows that Obi-Wan Kenobi  _ does not _ take a break when there's work to be done and I know for certain that the council wants to talk to him as soon as possible." 

Tabitha glances down at the bare face of her master. Toned cheekbones, narrow jaw, a small dimple in his chin. No hair, no beard, nothing. It's the same face, but so different all the same. He looks so much younger like this. The only traces of his exhaustion are dark circles around his eyes. Yeah, he needs the rest. 

"Thank you, Master Che. Can I stay here until he wakes up?" 

"Of course. But I warn you, padawan, it'll take a few hours." 

"I'll go grab something to eat then and come back after." Tabitha suggests, knowing how the woman hates it when the guests of her patients don't take care of themselves. Evidently, she's been here too often if she knows those kinds of preferences.

She receives an approving nod in return before the chief healer excuses herself and leaves the room to check on her other patients.

  
  


Obi-Wan sluggishly returns to the land of the living. 

He feels refreshed, not as exhausted as before. However, he can't remember going to bed.

The Jedi slowly opens his eyes but screws them shut again as bright lights assault them. 

Where was he again? On the ship with Bane and Eval? 

No. 

No, he had finished his mission. He had helped save the chancellor. Fought alongside Anakin against Dooku. After Anakin had shouted at him for his blatant use of their friendship. 

_ 'Oh, gods.' _

The knight will never forgive for using him to strengthen his cover as Rako Hardeen. He had been so angry and hurt when they had talked, and then they hadn't talked at all. Anakin completely ignored him and every attempt to approach him was met with frustrated huffs. 

Ahsoka had looked equally as hurt but she had a more subtle way of showing it. She had smiled at him but it hadn't quite reached her eyes. They hadn't talked either but the looks Obi-Wan received had said more than a thousand words could. 

The Togruta wasn't angry, not openly, but she was disappointed. 

And that was a harder punch in the gut than anger ever could be. 

Obi-Wan hasn't even seen the 212th yet, though he is pretty sure that it'll be just as bad if not worse. He wouldn't even be surprised if someone there punches him for his actions. He had thought about them while making the decision but in the end, it didn't sway him. Unfortunately. 

How will any of them be able to trust him again?

And then, of course, there is Tabitha…. 

Tabitha who had run into his arms at full speed when he exited the cruiser, who had not yelled at him and just calmly told him she was angry but that she had missed him nonetheless. Who had been so hesitant to ask if she could stay with him and in the next second started joking with him. 

She had given him some sense of himself after weeks of acting to be someone entirely different. 

Tentatively, he cracks open one eye and when the white lights don't burn his eyeball out, he opens the other. 

He rubs the last traces of sleep out if his eyes with his left hand and notices how different his skin feels. He cautiously runs his fingers over his other features. His chin and jaw are smooth, not even stubbled. Smooth enough that he can feel the little dimple in his chin. 

His jawline is narrower, his cheeks fuller and his nose more defined. 

For the first time in weeks, he feels a legitimate sense of relief and releases a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. 

_ 'This is much better.' _

Then, he tries moving his right hand but stops when he feels a strange weight settled on it. 

He turns his head to look at what keeps him from moving his hand and comes face to face with a mop of black hair. 

Tabitha is sleeping soundly with her head on his hand, her own hands grasping loosely at his forearm. 

Obi-Wan could just make out her face behind a curtain of hair, so he reaches out and lightly brushes her shoulder-long hair behind her ear. 

She looks relaxed but upon further inspection, the Jedi notices the light bruises around her eyes, the way her eyebrows are drawn together and her lips are turned downward even in sleep. 

She evidently hasn't slept well for quite some time. 

How could she be so forgiving when she has clearly suffered because of him? 

He had expected her to be mad, to hate him for lying to her and ignore him as Anakin does, but his padawan had surprised him, as she did so often. She had offered comfort since the very beginning even though she was angry. She may not have forgiven him but she doesn't blame him either. And that is almost enough to bring the Jedi Master to tears.

He blinks the moisture building in eyes away, but a bittersweet smile still pulls at his lips.

Others always said the girl's too kind for her own good. Obi-Wan thinks it's one of her best qualities.

Unconsciously, his left hand resumes fiddling with her silky hair as he tries to determine how to apologize and redeem himself. This girl deserves better than to be lied to. Not only her but Anakin, Ahsoka, Cody, Waxer, Boil and every single one of his men as well.

The teen stirs while Obi-Wan keeps carding a hand through her soft hair. Sleepy lush eyes flutter open and look at him blearily, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth when her eyes finally focus on the man lying in the bed before her, now slowly ceasing stroking through her dishevelled bob. 

His hand falls away when the last disorientation leaves her pupils.

Straightening up, she rubs her eyes and  _ really, really _ looks at her master. 

She has seen his face without a beard for a few hours now but it looks so much weirder when he's awake. 

The chuckle that bubbles out of her is entirely unintentional but not regretted. 

"You still look weird. Please tell me you won't keep that look. Bald only works on Master Windu." 

"I do not plan to do so. People might think I've taken his fashion advice."

In the next instant, Obi-Wan already has an armful of young padawan again, the girl squashing her face in his collarbone, not caring at all that their awkward position makes hugging very problematic. 

Obi-Wan returns the hug nonetheless- and has to stifle the sad sigh when he feels the small amount of uncertainty and fear extending their filthy tendrils through her thoughts, infecting them with doubt. 

"I'm here, Little One. I'm not going anywhere." 

When he strains his ears he's convinced he can hear small sniffles and he is certain that if it wouldn't be for the thick layers he's still wearing he would feel a wet patch expanding where the girl's head sits. 

It makes him wonder how often she has shed tears because of him in the last two weeks. 

_ 'You have never deserved this. Neither did Anakin and Ahsoka. I'm so sorry I hurt you.'  _

He should say it out loud but his throat suddenly feels too dry to speak.

Obi-Wan knew how it felt to lose a master when he started this mission and he still submitted her  _ and Anakin _ to that misery. 

To the feeling of drowning in frightening anxiety and sorrow while the heart felt like it shattered like glass along with the world and there was nothing one could do to change it. 

When he lost Qui-Gon he had been given purpose. Training Anakin had distracted him from the unwelcome feelings even though they still overwhelmed him sometimes. A few months, and the boy had even helped him get over it. 

Tabitha had no purpose that could keep her going, except finishing her padawan training with a new master. 

Thankfully it didn't come to that but it doesn't make the experience and the feelings go away.

"Don't  _ ever _ do it again. Promise me you won't do it again. Promise me you won't leave." 

Her voice is thick with emotion, muffled by his clothes and breaks on the last word. Obi-Wan has never heard her so broken and desperate, not when they fought battles that were certain to lead them to their untimely demise or when she was seriously hurt. He will do everything to not hear her like that again. Even promise her something he has no control over. 

There will be a time where he won't be here to guide her anymore but he will try to delay that time as long as he humanly can. 

"I promise." He says with as much conviction as he can summon. 

The melancholic smile she offers him when they ultimately pull apart shows him just how far she got since they first met. 

She knows he cannot promise her anything but not faking death anymore, not during the everlasting war, but is still grateful that he wants to make her feel better. 

Tabitha's eyes are red-rimmed and still wet and drying tear-tracks run down her cheeks but she looks relieved as if Obi-Wan gave the last push to a rock settled on her shoulders and freed her from its tremendous weight. 

And, he notices, the uncertainty is gone. 

With a gentle movement, Obi-Wan brushes away the dried tears from her pale cheeks and notes how her rich green eyes close and she leans into the touch. 

After that, they converse again, pushing the bantha to the back of their minds-  _ again.  _ Tabitha tells him how long he's been out and that Vokara knocked him out with a sedative to ensure he rests. 

_ 'Blasted healers!' _

Nevertheless, he appreciates Master Che's quick thinking and compassion. It kept the council off his back until he was well-rested enough to deal with them. But for the sake of it, he still mock-complained greatly about it when the healer came to check up on him, to the Twi'lek's unending amusement. 

She declared him healthy enough to return to his quarters and resume his duties without any limitations. 

The Jedi Master is already out of the door with a quick thanks and goodbye faster than anyone could stop him, leading Tabitha with him who is left laughing at her master's antics. 

When they reach their shared quarters, Tabitha has already filled him in on the whereabouts of the 212th and everything else that has occurred during his absence. Obi-Wan palms the door open without even thinking about it but when he crosses the threshold, the Force shifts. 

The air in the room becomes cold and thick with sorrow, and Obi-Wan feels as if he was punched in the gut. 

Disconcerted, the ginger-haired man unsteadily follows his padawan, who has already weaved into the kitchen to make some of his favorite tea, into the room. Instead of joining her in the kitchen, he takes a seat on the couch, the cushions sinking beneath his weight.

Tabitha doesn't seem to feel any difference, at least she gives no indication that she does. She's humming like she always is when she's happy.

Then it hits him, listening to the low humming from the kitchen.

"Oh, Tabitha…" he whispers sadly under his breath. 

He doesn't just feel that  _ she _ had been here- curled up on the couch or in her or Obi-Wan's room, weeping quietly into a pillow or his robes that still held his fleeting scent. No, he could also feel that Anakin had been here doing essentially the exact same more than just once or twice. 

Unbiddenly, his thoughts circle back to the knight and their last conversation where Anakin voiced his doubts towards the council and Obi-Wan himself, rather loudly. 

He still couldn't get Anakin's angry expression with more cold fury hidden behind his blue eyes out of his memory. Nor could he forget the guilt gnawing at his heart ever since.

"Credit for your thoughts, Master?" 

Tabitha's silvery voice cuts through his reflections when she sets a cup of Kopi tea in front of him and sits down next to him with her own one. 

"It's nothing." He lies straight through his teeth and reaches for the steaming cup on the table, hoping the girl will buy it and leave it be for now. 

Tabitha doesn't buy it. 

"You know, without your beard, you're transparent, Master. It's even easier to see when you are brooding now." She says dryly, taking a small sip without breaking eye contact. 

She doesn't really push him to tell her but lets him decide if he wants to. 

Puffing out air through his nose, he determines that it won't end badly if he tells her about his thoughts and fears concerning his former padawan.

So he does.

Obi-Wan tells her about their last conversation, Anakin's evident avoidance of him, how Obi-Wan fears he destroyed their unique connection and lost all trust Anakin put in him over the years. He tells her everything and finds that it's not half as hard as he thought it would be. 

Occasionally, he sips at his already cooling tea, savoring the sweet taste it leaves on his tongue and down his throat. Tabitha made the beverage exactly the way he liked it.

His padawan just listens attentively, not once pushing or questioning him when he pauses, simply silently sitting there drinking her own Kopi tea and letting him talk as long as he wants to. 

As he finishes, he discovers he feels lighter and his mind is blissfully quiet as if he'd just meditated for hours. 

Where his thoughts were a raging river before, they are now a steady stream. 

Tabitha tips her head to the side slightly, seemingly contemplating something. 

Then she starts talking, choosing every word carefully. 

"Anakin may be angry. He may avoid you now but he'll try to talk to you soon enough, I'm sure." The raised eyebrows from Obi-Wan appear to be enough to convey his skepticism and provoke a small grin and an eye roll. 

"You two aren't called 'the Team' for nothing, Master. You fight, you disagree, you ignore each other sometimes but in the end, you find your way back together. And that's what counts." She elaborates with steady conviction layering her voice. 

"And what brings you to the conclusion that this time will be the same, Little One?" 

Tabitha's eyes glow like the brightest lights on Coruscant and she smiles sweetly at the nickname but launches into her next explanation. "Because I know you and Anakin as much as I know Ahsoka. He'll try to hate you but he won't be able to do it. You're meant to be together, you're stronger that way and not just on the battleground. A bond like yours doesn't break because of one mistake. Not even such a big one." 

Before Obi-Wan can ponder on the meaning of the words and how accurate they are, Tabitha continues. 

"And that's just what it was. A mistake. And if Anakin can feel half the remorse and guilt you drown yourself in, I'm confident that he'll realize that and how deeply you regret not telling us." 

The padawan puts her empty porcelain cup back on the table and now fully turns to her master, legs crossed underneath her on the plushy cushions of the couch.

Obi-Wan has to fight back the thought of how much the black-haired girl reminds him of Yoda at this moment just so he doesn't laugh at the absurdity of it. 

He also pushes away the shame he feels for letting her feel the bad emotions he's feeling, solely focusing on her next words.

"The real challenge is if you two have the strength to overcome this before tragedy strikes."

Okay, maybe his comparison isn't so absurd after all. 

This takes 'the Padawan teaches the Master' thing to a whole new level and pride blossoms deep in his core when he thinks about how much Tabitha has grown from the wandering twelve-year-old she was when they met on Christophsis. 

"What do you propose I do to conquer this challenge?" The Jedi implores, deciding that Tabitha has way more knowledge on talking about feelings than he does. And that's not even a difficult task to accomplish. Obi-Wan was never good at talking about his feelings because he never really understands them himself.

"Talking would be a first." She wisecracks with a dry smirk but her mood makes a 180-degree turn in a nanosecond. 

"Make the first step. Tell him you regret it, tell him you know you made a mistake and you're sorry. You'll know what else to say once you talk to Anakin. And then it's up to him if he takes the olive branch you extend."

"When did you get so wise, dear padawan?" Obi-Wan asks with fondness and pride coating his words when he mulled over the words and comes to the conclusion that his padawan is right.

He'll talk to Anakin, apologize for his failure and outrageous use of their friendship and then give Anakin the time and space he needs. 

He'll be patient as he was trained to be, even if it'll take months. 

Tabitha basically beams as radiantly as Tatooine's twin suns at the praise and replies in a cheery and appreciative manner. "What can I say, I've got a great teacher. And I'm just good like that."

Obi-Wan makes a small huffed half-laugh and sets his own now empty cup away. 

"Thank you, Tabitha." He says sincerely after a few seconds of comfortable silence. She has helped him more than she's aware and provided him with a new sense of hope he hadn't felt in too long.

"I'm always happy to help, Master. Now can we go eat something? I'm starving and you look like you could use more than just tea."

"Of course, just let me change into more tolerable clothes." Obi-Wan says, containing silent laughter at the usual insatiable appetite displayed by the girl, and gets up from the couch to walk into his room and change into his beloved tunics. 

"By the way, I think the gruff look suits you. You should wear it more often, makes you look more intimidating. We would probably win the war in seconds. Even Dooku would run like a little kid the instant he saw you." Tabitha yells after him from the couch, smirk evident.

Obi-Wan just hums in amused acknowledgment but doesn't dignify the teasing with a response and leaves a chuckling padawan in the living room while he changes.

During the course of the evening, he finds himself forgetting about the nightmare that was the last two weeks and solely enjoying the time with his padawan.


End file.
